The First Noble Truth

The first noble truth the Buddha taught… 

There is suffering. 

To live life here on Earth as a human being we will suffer. The suffering will be constant. There will be different levels of suffering and different types. There will be physical suffering. Mental suffering. Communal suffering. They will occur simultaneously. A physical suffering of a hurt muscle, and the mentally suffering of depression can occur at the same time – increasing the level of suffering and the types. It is a part of reality. Everyone suffers. It is inescapable. No matter the circumstance suffering will come to you. Even in your joy there is the fact that the joy will end, and in that suffering. We cannot deny the suffering. We cannot control it. We cannot elude it. It is reality. 

Sounds goddamn dreadful don't it?

It is. 

But the sun rises and we try again. 

And again.

We push on through. 

We put our feet on the floor. Take our early morning piss. Look at ourselves in the mirror. There will be suffering today. Again. Like yester. We walk away from the mirror, and keep on pushing through. Everyday we push through the suffering. We drape ourselves in the peace that we know suffering will never cease, so who fucking cares? Find peace in the knowing that we all suffer together in this bog of sadness and death called Earth. Forever. You must learn to not care. To rise above giving energy to the suffering. Embracing the suffering, or embracing the suck as I was taught at 18, is the only way to not suffer. Diverting the energy you give to fighting the suffering to something else is how you learn to not care. How you exist in the suffering but not suffer. A peace is achievable beyond the suffering. Just gotta divert that energy somewhere else. Give not fuel to the resistance of the suffering. Embrace the suck. Embrace the suffering. Embrace the bog of sadness and death that is Earth. Then let it go. Feel it seep back to the Earth through your feet. Let the Earth hold that suffering. She can. She’s strong enough. She gave birth to us, she can carry our suffering. 

So where do you divert the energy? What do you give energy to instead of running down thought paths of worry and dread? Of lost loved ones. Of lost homesteads. Of war. Of disease. Of genocide. Of hatred. Of betrayal. Of swallowing a bottle of pills. 

Well, everyone’s different. I’ll tell you where I divert mine when my mind tells me living isn’t worth it anymore. The first place I go is my loved ones. How I am their world. I remind myself I am their fucking world. And I will destroy that world I’ve created with them over the years of this life. It will be gone. Forever. Never to exist again. I will also fuck them up. Fuck my kid up. Fuck my partner up. Fuck my parents up. Fuck my brothers up. And once I’ve diverted my energy to them, and I realize I can’t do that. I can’t fuck them up. I can’t do it. I give energy then to them. I then reach out to them. No matter where I am or what I’m doing. I text mostly. I have talking on the phone phobia. I tell them I’m not okay, and that I love them, and that I need them to give me some hope to hold on to. They always do. Giving them energy instead of to resisting the suffering gives me peace and hope to hold on to. 

So, you say you haven’t any loved ones. Fair. Guess you can’t send your energy there. One of the next places I go to is music. Sounds simple, but human brains fucking love music. Makes them so fucking happy. And I can’t play any goddamn instrument, and I can’t sing that well either. But it doesn’t matter. I can listen. I can feel it. I can dissect it. I can wallow in the beat. Be comforted by the lyrics. I can be held by the singer’s voice. I can hold every instrument I can hear in a special place in my mind, and just ride its waves. I can’t sing but I do sing. Singing activates the good chemicals in your brain. Let them reign. Let them bounce between receptacle to receptacle - saturating your pathways. Lighting the way through life. There is suffering but it can have a playlist or an anthem or a soundtrack. Let it. The soundtrack to my life is played by twenty one pilots. And lately the song downstairs tugs at my heart strings. Takes me back to darker times. Times when hiding my beliefs downstairs was how I had to live. A time of suffering once more, but I can live in the peace of the anthem of the time. In their music. In communal suffering. Suffering together. That’s a huge one for me. That we are all suffering. Even if you’re alone in life, you’re not fucking alone in your suffering. We’re all in this sinking boat together. 

There will be suffering comrades. Always. 

We’re in this together. Always. 

There will be music to get us through. Always. 

Take what the Buddha taught us, that there is fucking suffering, and run with that. Embrace the suck. Rise above the overall suffering of life. And be one with the fact that it ultimately doesn’t fucking matter. That it’s so beyond us we can’t grasp it. Just don’t fucking care. Don’t give it energy. Give it to something better. To your lover. To your kid. To your parents. To your siblings. To your friends. To your coworkers. Give to to a concert to your steering wheel with your favorite fucking artist, no matter who that artist is. Dive into that art with all your fucking heart my comrade. Give the energy of resisting suffering to something fucking else. Something more beautiful. Something darker. Something holier. Something magic. 

We’re going to be okay comrades.

Suffer to suffer not. Resist not to experience not. 

Something clever. Something raw. Something authentic. 

Just hold on another day comrade. Push on through. 

We’re going to be okay. I promise. I’ve been doing this for 41 years. I wouldn’t steer you wrong. 

h