The 3/26 Iskra 🔥
Two days in a row bitches. I’m going to give you my plumes of wisdom out on the daily now. Just kidding. I’m mentally ill, and can barely figure out how to breathe daily much less write plumes of wisdom daily. I could write everyday, or I should say I do write everyday, desperate dark daunting diatribes and ramblings of lost comprehension [on frayed pages in a faux leather bound book]. I could give you that on the daily. But who wants that? Who wants no cohesion? No story? No directive? No call? Who wants just the sputtering nonsense that shoots into the sky like flecks of embers that quickly burn out? No one wants that. It’s difficult to read. Scary. Erratic. Volatile. Not meant for consumption.
Therefore, I come to you today to bring bones to the fire y’all. This fire pit on the internet I want to keep lit. The bones I bring today are simply meant to provide entertainment. You see, I took a dose of perspective this morning while interacting with a comrade. The comrade presented an excerpt from a book she had found on tiktok with enthusiasm for me to read. Wrapped up in a sentence it said… you create your reality - if you’d just try a little fucking harder you’d get the life of your dreams. I should clarify the interpretation is mine. It probably realistically said that there is a recipe for creating the life you want to live; you just need to find and live it. The thing is I immediately took offense. It just came from such a privileged pedestal, and didn’t take into account how the world in which you live dictates the world in which you’re creating. You can be a goddamn Van Gogh, but if you’re painting on a canvas that’s on fire it doesn’t matter how well you paint, it’s going to end up a charred mess. I made the comment, “The author is classist, and doesn’t have an open enough perspective for me.” I also started in on the horrors of capitalism. She looked totally like I burst her bubble of enthusiasm for this book. I then immediately felt guilty. You see I always take it back to capitalism and the society it has created for us to live in. It’s the root of all evil. The cause of our demise. The cause of the Earth’s destruction. But I know this, and my comrades around me know this. Yet, I beat the dead horse. Yet, I tear down your self help book because I can’t look away for a second at the infection and what’s feeding it. It isn’t you. It’s the society you live in. You can’t help that and you can’t run from it. You exist within it, always.
Here’s my dilemma with my reaction…it gets old. I wear folks out with the constant harping on capitalism. The constant referenced towards how your problems could be solved by us eliminating a society based upon greed and war. Because no one can just flip a switch and fix society - fix the world in which we’re painting in. I become the issuer of doom and gloom in every situation almost. It might even be so bad that folks will avoid conversations with me - I don’t know this I’m simply speculating. It also doesn’t help my intensity at which I preach against capitalism. It’s fierce. I’m passionate. There’s no doubt in where I stand. But damn, I need to find balance. I need to find a way to stop beating the dead horse. I need to find better ways of presenting my lambasting of our society. Or maybe just limit how much I lay into it. Maybe when my comrade brought up the book I could have found some positive notions about it instead of bursting her bubble with my hate.
Maybe this is just who I am. A devout humanist preaching the gospel of communism for anyone and everyone in any sort of radius of me to hear and read. To know that capitalism leads to fascism which leads to destruction. Maybe I need to start practicing a little balance. Find a way to see a little sliver lining in the shitstorm that is our society. Or maybe I need to ramp it up. Get on people's nerves. Serve up daily doses of antifascism and anticapitalism. Everytime it needs to be brought to someone’s attention I go on ahead and bring it on up that the reason they’re unhappy is because the capitalistic society to which we dwell is making us that way. Christians go around the entire world shoving their religion down everyone’s throat calling it fulfilling the great commission, and maybe I can take a page from their book and keep doing this same for my cause. Whatever I choose to do in the coming interactions in life I hope I'm gentle and authentic. Always.
comrade haley
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