The 3/27 Iskra - Exhaustion

 

The 3/27 Iskra 🔥

Day three. 

Day three of adding bones to the fire that burns in this corner. 

These bones today are brought to you by exhaustion. This fire is but embers today. And I know that’s what the oligarchy wants - an exhausted left. They want to work us till we have nothing left to give to the cause. No more spoons in our arsenal. Pulling at air. Nothing. No thing. The capitalist oligarchy has set up this society as such. Using worker burnout as a means to keep the worker oppressed. 

In one’s life I am not sure the avoidance of exhaustion would be very successful. We all experience exhaustion for a plethora of reasons throughout one’s journey on earth. There is a healthy and normal amount the human can take. But the rate at which we feel this exhaustion and the intensity to which we feel these episodes being higher leaves us vulnerable in ways that are unjust and leave us open to advantage being taken of us workers. 

Like I am vulnerable this week. I started back to work after having a week off pretending I lived in a leftist society where my job was done by computers and I only work a few hours a week yet still receive an income that lets me thrive in life. It’s been a real slap in the face this week for some reason. Knowing a better world is out there existing in some other dimension and I’m in this one where some humans like Trump and Musk have all the power and are destroying the world one golf course at a time. It’s a heavy matter to bear this week as I put in 40 hours of my fucking life. On top of putting in those daunting 40 hours I also have other responsibilities to life. Other humans in life that I love and want to devote spoons to. Other ventures in life I love and want to devote spoons to. Everyday this week I’ve given out all of my spoons by the end of the day. Then because I’ve given all of myself I don’t have any spoons for a good night's sleep, and I dream fitfully. Then I wake the next morning yearning for more sleep. A draining cycle starts on top of the fact that I’m exhausted already. If I didn’t have to devote 40 hours of my life to a job I would have oh so many more spoons to give to those I love and the ventures I love. If I didn’t have to devote 40 hours a week to a job I would have spoons to care for myself better, and therefore not be in this vulnerable position against my will. But I do work 40 hours a week. I barely have spoons left for my lover and our children, and the ventures we want to take. I have no spoons left to care for myself. I have no spoons left for ventures I love. I’m pretty weak this week. Right where they want me. 

But alas, I’m surviving. Alas, I’m pushing on through. I have it down - the fight for survival. I’ve been doing it since I was like 13 - after my first major depressive episode. Now the fight for survival is second nature. Pushing on through when you have no spoons left is what I do. They can exhaust me with their 40 hour work weeks, their lack of time off, their lack of pay, and their oppression, but I will keep on living. The weekend will come and I will find time for self care. I will gain spoons by giving spoons to my loved ones. I will gain spoons by giving spoons to the ventures I love. Usually gaining more than I give in most ways. I will cure my exhaustion in the coming days with self care, and then there will come days where I have extra spoons to devote to the cause of a liberated working class. Extra spoons to devote to the overthrow of fascism and its oligarchy. Give me time to heal this week. Give me time to rest. We all need time for these things. Take it when it’s available. Take care of the basics - water, showers, brushing teeth, eating, and giving and accepting love. I’ll ride this wave of exhaustion, and come out stronger on the other side. I won’t let it break me. And fuck, even if it did break me, and I had to ride out a stint at peninsula I’d do it and keep on pushing through. The fascist will have to pry this keyboard from my cold dead hands before I give up this fight. They won’t win - the end will be destruction, because that is always the outcome of a capitalist society. We could win though. A leftist society thriving is possible. Maybe not in my lifetime, but I will fight for a better way no matter. 

comrade haley