How many days since the loss: It’s been XXXIV days since the election. Thirty-four. 34. A little over a month. Fourish weeks. So many fucking hours. Minutes. Seconds. Living in the reality that a fascist regime controlled by billionaires will take over the control of our country in a little over a month from now. As the days wane you can see the shape the government is taking cabinet by cabinet member. Our government will soon be controlled by capitalist overlords. Not that it isn’t already controlled by capitalist overlords, it’s just that they’re more like diet capitalist overlords - they tend to be a tiny less racist, transphobic, and xenophobic. A tiny bit less at that, because they’re still helping commit genocide in Palestine. Free, Free, Palestine!
The feels at this point in the loss: Preparation. These are the feels concerning the loss at this point. We, the working class, must find one another and prepare. We must prepare that things are going to get worse before they ever start getting better. We must prepare that these next four years are going to be shit. They’re going to start taking working class rights away - tran's folks right away, children’s rights away, women’s rights away, immigrant's rights away. We must prepare that they’re going to start giving more and more power to the bourgeoisie. Prepare that they’re going to destroy this economy - they’re going to do what capitalism always does in the end, implode into fascism. Then what? When the majority of the working class gains consciousness - then revolution comrades. And no one knows what that will look like. But we must start preparing now.
The feels about the impending inauguration: At each cabinet pick I grow a little sicker. Nauseous with anxiety - at the billionaire narcissists he chooses to run the country. I continue to grow nauseous at the fact that the majority of this nation, which is majority working class, chose to put a dictator into office (or chose to ignore the election all together) - a lying, cheating, classist, idiot dictator. So anxious is how I feel. Anxious there will come a point when this little piece of the internet I write on will become illegal, and I’ll go to jail for my socialist/communist content. Don’t doubt censorship won’t come. (That reminds me, I need to reread 1984.)
How I’m coping with these feels: How I cope with my drive for preparation is to prep. I’m gathering what skills I need to fight fascism. I’m engaging and building community. I’m reading up on socialism, on revolution, on history, on the future. I want to know theory so I know where to put praxis. The best places to put my energy in this fight. I prep. I prepare for shit to hit the fan, because rich folks are gaining control over this country’s police state. The working class needs to prepare. Now more than ever.
How do I cope with the anxiety that it’s possible that human right violations may occur in this country in the near future? Poorly somedays, healthily others. Somedays I stir my worries into huge catastrophes and I wallow in those catastrophes, and I feel the emotions of possibly having to fend for the lives of others and myself. I think the worst of everyone around me. Secretly they plot to turn me in as a commie. Maybe even for money. How much money would it take for one of my coworkers, one of my friends, one of my family members, to turn me in? 10,000? 5,000? 200?
I digress.
I healthily cope as well. I read the past, because the past shows that time keeps marching, and shit keeps changing. I go to therapy and dump my fears like Niagra falls. I exercise (not enough) and release the demons by making it feel like my heart is going to rage out my chest. I build community and reinforce strength in numbers. I lean on my partner; her motivation gives me motivation, her drive to learn drives me, her love gives me strength in ways I can’t convey in words - like roots, she anchors me in her love to reality, giving my anxiety a break.
What reading on socialism: Right now I’m reading The Long Detour by James Weinstein - The history and future of the American Left. I’m in the history part of the book. The history of fellow comrades and the history of different leftist parties. It reminds me that change is the constant. These four years will not last. Capitalism cannot last. Change will come. I might not see a significant shift in my lifetime, but I can still contribute now for the future. I can still fight the fascism now in hope that my contributions create a socialist tomorrow. There are comrades across the globe that have been jailed for the socialist/communist actions, and if they kept fighting so can I.
How I’m fighting fascism: By being afuckinglive. That’s how I fight. My existence is my resistance to fascism. I am a queer comunista. My philosophy is love. This philosophy fuels my politics of communism. I believe in human rights. All human rights. I believe in community, in public ownership of all property and production. I believe in no harm done, do what thou wilt. All this going against fascism. By simply waking up and taking a shit I’m fighting fascism. But today I did much more than just shit. I woke, put in a solid day's work at the job, and tonight I go to a Democratic Socialist of America meeting.
In the end: It matters. What you do matters. Doing nothing is what has gotten us into this hot mess. The working class is the biggest class, but barely involved. Get infuckingvolved. Every time in the end I’m going to say do something. Join a group. Build community. With social media at this point it's easy to get plugged in. It’s easy to find your people. If you need help finding your people then reach out. I will help you. We must build community. We must support each other. We must get involved. If there was a time for it it’s now, now, now.
comrade h
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