collar

around my neck a collar of inward spiked capital 

leash is yanked taut through every hour
spikes burrow into flesh
tears sting eyes
hands grasp at relief
stomach twists into knots
heart clenched in distress
no matter how hard i try to remove the collar it only gets tighter
tighter
tighter
i haven't taken a deep breath in years
i haven't felt release from the struggle in years
i haven't felt calm in years
only the struggle
only the collar
only the leash
no one deserves this
this isn't living
this isn't how it's supposed to be

h