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| 1987 |
the scent of grass trimmings hover like mosquitoes
my olfactory jerking my hippocampus violently about my brain
the rake going through my left big toe in kindergarten and the gauze wrapped around it
that fucked up shit my cousin did to me in my purple carpeted bedroom before i even reached double digits in years
drawing a crayon picture of them on copy paper from dad's work
the kind with the holes on the side perforated so they tore away
taping my shame and confusion and anger and fear and nausea to the pillow
beating the pillow with tiny fists clenched
somewhere a long the way i buried it in silence behind my ribs
hot wheel red clay roads snaked under the sap covered pines
the flavor of new rain boots as you sip from the hose
mom swinging and smoking and laughing
the sun kissed skin of my little brothers running in diapers
the dark teal yellow roped little tykes swing hanging from scratchy arms hundreds of feet up
little red potatoes dug up with little hands ran up the hill and put on little plates
yellow green elephant ear plants turn umbrellas in humid sun showers and cool rain sprinkles
hole punched blinking in soft glow mason jars at twilight
a plywood fort over a rabbit cage and another with a hive of stingers in the mailbox
canned corn beef sandwiches with mayo on red and yellow bagged white bread
book fair's smells of goosebumps and scary stories to tell in the dark
open windows with metal screens
doves morning on lines of electricity
dad and the beautiful smell of saw dust and leather tool belts with blue snapping chalk
paneled witches haunt at night
the crypt keeper laughs from afar
petrified of the dark and cancer and change
nickelodeon with slime and all that and are you afraid of the dark
golden green family and love and life
years of nirvana
too innocent to take it all in
haley/∆
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