Turncoat Social Media User

I did it.

I finally disconnected completely from social media.

First it was Facebook.
Facebook was causing more negative vibes in my life than positive, and since the day I left its manipulative ass I’ve felt more free in a sense.

Yesterday I dropped Instagram and Twitter.
It was impulsive - like quite a few things I do. I was watching a suggested video on YouTube. It was a fellow by the name of, well shit I don’t remember, but he said something I’ve been thinking a long time… get off social media entirely - it’s decaying the world. Therefore, I did. Right then I deleted both my Instagram account and my Twitter account. Poof.💨Gone.

Usually impulsive decisions I make at midnight I regret in the morning. Not this one. This morning at my usual excessively long red light I grabbed my phone and then realized there was no Insta to look at. Well damn. At first there was a sense of regret. Then as it settled on my shoulders, in my brain, on my heart, I sighed a sigh of relief. They’re gone. All of them. And it was okay.

I’m 34 years old. I’m an original hipster, a first generation millennial, and will soon be a kid in my mid-thirties. Fuck. Admitting all that makes me feel old. But I remind myself that making it this far is a privilege - especially for one who has a mental illness and has attempted suicide. I’m not sure when I hopped on social media. It was Facebook in the get-go. Some friends which lived over the plateau convinced me to join so we could keep in touch. Reluctantly I signed up, and created an account. Then down the rabbit hole I fell. I’ve had probably a handful Facebook accounts. I deleted one, because there was too much bullshit I had posted to delete and wanted a fresh start. I deleted another one because it was a tumultuous time in my existence, and I was being judge and harassed for words taken out of context. Then I once try to quit social media and failed. Then came a few accounts with Twitter. Then came a couple accounts with Instagram. Now, I’ve disappeared from them all. Just gone. I love how deleting your account cleans all traces of you.

I’m relatively sure that this time it’s it. I have no reason to be in any of those spaces any longer. They don’t support me. I don’t care to keep in touch with folks that are no longer in my life. I don’t want to share my thoughts or opinions on matters because in reality no one really gives a fuck what you think and/or feel because most folks are concrete strong set in their stubborn ways. I am also longing to be free of thinking in Facebook post, or seeing pictures in Instagram posts, or thinking in Twitter hashtags. In the past I automatically started to crave social media from the time it was no longer on my phone - but not today. I really do feel wiser for this decision. I feel this is a part of my revolution, a part of my enlightenment, a part of my pilgrimage as a human being on this plane of existence.

There is a downfall that digs at me a bit. The fact that I can no longer put my blog out there into the social media universe to bring folks in to check it out. That sucks. But alas even that wasn’t achieving all I wanted it to - it would literally only trickle in a few folks per post - nothing that made enough difference to stay in any social media platform. Besides that, I see no other downfall. I only see positivity coming from this decision. This is going to give me back hours in the day that I wasted away doing nothing but gawking at other folks lives whilst comparing, and judging, and numbing myself to the reality of life. It’s going to spare me from negative unnecessary content that tends to dig into my brain like a earworm, and chew on my synapses.

I’m at a point on my pilgrimage where I need not lean on social media for validation, or acceptance, or as a soap box, or for dopamine surges. I no longer need social media at all. Therefore I’m out.

h