I want to melt down every gun in the world.
I want to end white supremacy for good.
I want to dismantle our murderous government.
I want to be a part of a world that is the human utopia.
Why do I have to strive for less?
Why do there have to be mass shootings?
Why does this stuff happen in the world we live in?
Why do we teach women to watch their drinks instead of teaching men not to rape?
Why does tragedy always seem so fucking close yet so fucking far away?
What. The. Fuck. Is. Going. On. Here?
I can't tell you how many places my head has been the past few days. Trying to sort through the anxiety riddled abruptly short thought paths has been defeating. It's as if I cannot form a proper thought, or a solid opinion as to where I stand on this gun crisis.
Do I want more strict gun laws? Well, are these gun laws that get put in place going to be racist like voter registration laws, and merely target to limit the sale of guns to minorities? Therefore doing nothing for contributing to the mass shooting massacres we have, because hate filled white supremacist are the ones doing the most killing, are the ones committing the mass shootings. If these laws targeted the largest domestic terrorist group in America, that being white supremacist, then hell yeah, target those fuckers, restrict their gun possession for being rascist scum.
I don't give two shits about the constitution, and what its second amendment says. The constitution is a patriarchal document meant to keep the white man in charge. No one better come at me with some constitution bullshit. I don't have time for someone who worships America.
I keep trying to empathize with the victims, and their families.
I can't reach deep enough within my being to find that pain, but I can try.
I get so angry when folks automatically brand the killer as mentally ill. He wasn't mentally ill! He was an angry white supremacist dick who was consumed with hate - that's not a mental illness, that's an illness in the immorality of a person. I am a mentally ill person folks! I have never had the desire to ever hurt anyone. And yet I have been hurt by others. So, quit with the mentally ill bullshit. It's a cop out, and you should be ashamed for labeling him as such.
History is whitewashed so deeply it's starting to bleed out. Our very own government massacred the greatest number of folks in this country in 1890 at Wounded Knee. Our government shot and killed up to 300 Lakota native Americans that day killing children, women, and men alike. Quit whitewashing history. Just stop.
My utopia is the melting down of all guns to build bridges, or wells, or aqueducts, or art, anything as long as it's not something that is meant to kill. Why kill? Why? Why in the fucking world kill someone? What the fuck kind of human being are you if you murderously kill someone?
I'm going to continue to strive for an anarcho-communism society. Why settle for the lesser? Why not manifest the ultimate? Why let hate even have a foothold in this world, on this planet? Why can't I strive for the best? What could it hurt? I believe in us. I believe in humanity as a whole. I'm going to keep believing until I've ceased to be a human. I'll never stop. I love this planet. This ecosystem. This little spec of the Milky Way. I love ya'll. You curious, strong, brave, some times fumbled fingered, humans - I freakin love every particle you consist of. We are equal because when we get down to that we're all of the same particles blooming gracefully in a world separated by cultures. I found accepting myself opened my eyes wider to the vast inequalities in the world; accepting my past, who I am, and who I am capable of being. We have to find a way to accept each other; of our scared existence, of our beautifully unique qualities, of our equality, of our interweaving existence, and of our existence as a conscious species.
How do I end something like this?
What do I end on?
What's appropriate?
I don't believe there is anything but grief filled silence for the fallen and the broken.
Haley(M)
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