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Key word in the previous sentence? "Seemed".
As I sat down for meditation before I went to bed the "seemed" faded into gray, and I learned today wasn't so uneventful after all. Whilst in meditation I discovered that two people, whom I rarely talk to, both today confided in me very personal information, a discovery that they had been living not for themselves their entire lives. (I discovered these tidbits from my day by searching my inner state of being, and found sadness. I then traced this sadness to the root of the cause; these women.) One of these individuals was 50ish, and the other was 72 years old. To the 50ish year old this revelation was taxing, yet empowering. She was determined to make the next 50+ years count. To the 72 year old it was a crushing blow, it was heart breaking, it was devastating, it was scary. She was at a complete loss, and didn't know how she was going to wake up tomorrow.
I recently just turned 30 years old. I am overwhelmed with waves of gratitude that I have come to the realization that you can live for no one but yourself. I am grateful I'm not 72 years old, my entire existence devoted to my family, and now my family has families of their own, and I sit in my house wondering "What do I do now?" I am deeply grateful that I have found that this is my path, mine alone, and that no one can walk it for me. Grateful that I realize I cannot walk anyone else's path. Though every human must walk their own path, they are not alone, for we are all one, and every path leads us to each other. I am drenched in gratitude that I know this now, at 30, instead of waking up at 72 scared shitless that I have lived a life jumping from someone else's path to someone else's path, and never created my own.
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It sounds selfish doesn't it? The belief that I must live for me. That each individual must live for themselves. That one can't live for a life partner, a loved one, a child, or for anyone other than themselves. I mean shouldn't we sacrifice our path so we can help others? Doesn't it sound selfless if we don't walk our own path, and devote our life to walking other's paths to help them achieve what it is their existing for? Hmmm...?
It may sound selfish to live for yourself, but on the contrary, it is not. It's more selfish to push yourself on to someone else's path, someone else's life, and "help" them. You're infringing on their life path. You're essentially taking bits and pieces of their life from them - bits and pieces they need to learn and grow - bits and pieces they need to reach their full potential (consciousness). It may seem like you're sacrificing your life, your path, to help them, but in reality you are only diminishing your life, and wreaking havoc on their life. You are actually being selfish by not living for yourself. To live for yourself, to live your life path, is what humanity needs as a whole. If humans are constantly trying to live their lives for others, sacrificing their own, then we create chaos within. Our Collective Consciousness suffers - vibrations are lost, frequencies mix, the balance offset, and lives twisted in ways that create negativity all around.
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I don't believe those whom choose to live for others realize they are actually doing more harm than good. I believe those living for others believe they are doing good by giving up what they need and want in life for other's needs and wants. I realize a lot of people live for other's out of the good of their own heart, but eventually they will awaken and realize they never created their own path, and are now lost. Though, they should take heart, for it is NEVER too late to create your own path, never.
So, live your own path. Live your own life. Don't live for your life partner, your children, your best friend, your mom or dad - don't live for anyone but you. It is your life, and yours alone, you cannot live it to its fullest whilst stuck on a path that isn't yours. By wandering someone else's path you rob them of pieces of their life, and you rob yourself of an entire existence. Be someone. Be You. Don't feel selfish for living for you. Feel empowered for living for yourself, because when it gets down to the nitty gritty, down to the tiniest atom, down to our core of Being, really we're all living the same existence, just from different perspectives.
Living for me,
Haley
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