Winter's Icy Grip

 Image Source: uberhumor

Old Man Winter seems to be taking its toll on me.
I feel disconnected.
I feel raw.
I feel wind burnt.
I seem to be reaching in all the wrong directions.
My Ego is strong as of late.
My Being watches my Ego wreck havoc on my existence.
I'm conscious, and then as quick as consciousness came, I'm unconscious once again.
I feel frozen.
I feel callused.
I feel anxiety.
I feel anger.

I am not those things I listed above. I am not disconnected, raw, wind burnt, frozen, stiff, callused, hardened, anxious, or angry. I feel those things, but they are not me. Those are merely emotions. I recognize those feelings. I am aware of those feelings, but those feelings are not who I am. I cannot allow myself to become identified with such low frequency energy and vibrations. I must acknowledge them, I judge them not, and I rise above them. I rise above them not in a "holy art than thou" being, but in a being of love and light.

This is much easier written than it is actually done. I want to become these feelings. I want to identify with them. I want to take them on, and let them rule over me. I want to be my Ego, and let it abuse me in every way it can conjure. Why? Because this is how I lived for my entire adult existence up until a couple of years ago, and breaking the habit isn't an easy path. I want to choose the egotistic path, because this is how the majority of humanity exist, and I feel the weight of humanity's Ego pressing on my back to be like them. (It's not their fault, for they know not what they do.) I want to steep in this misery so long that I become depressed again, and then I want to wallow in the Ego identified cess pool until I'm so sick that my only way out is death. All of that sits in the back of my mind - in the recesses of my Ego. I am not my mind. My mind is a tool for use in this three dimensional material word. I am not my Ego. My Ego is my mind personified.

I Am.
Know this.
Be this.
Live this.

Namaste,
Haley